As I sit on my planning time munching on a piece of chocolate, I realize I have eaten almost a whole bag of Hershey’s miniatures since Monday. That is in addition to all the other crap I have consumed in my post MAP testing – buying a house – living 400 miles from my husband with two crazy sons week.
I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER!!
There. I said it. You know my weakness right up front.
In the last 9 months I have done even worse. I weigh more today than I did the days I gave birth to Sarah, Bubba, or Dude (not all combined but it could come close!). My clothes don’t fit. My skin is not great. I don’t feel attractive enough for Hubs. I have become fat and I jiggle. Everything hurts – my back, my knees, my pride, my gut from my waistband being too tight. I don’t like being this way.
Since Hubs left for Nevada (said Nuh vA (long a) duh) in July I have put on a ton of weight (about 30 lbs to give you a ball park figure). I have used the excuse that I have been stressed (YES I AM STRESSED!!) but really I’m just lazy. I drive through when I could slice and dice. I grab candy off the counter when there is fresh (and clean) fruit in the fridge. I sit on the couch watch TV with an elliptical machine looking over my shoulder.
I am lonely. I need accountability. I need to say know when my kids ask for junk instead of being glad that they want McDonald’s for dinner. I need to get motivated.
I have a goal weight. (ideal is 135. reasonable is 150. realistic is 165. OMG! I am telling the world what I want to weigh which means you all can figure out how far I have really let myself go!) I have decided on my rewards (shoes, clothes, another tattoo. a nose ring). I know what to do, I know how to get there, I know why I should. Yet I can’t seem to get started.
Do you struggle with this? How have you gotten going with a healthy lifestyle. Who holds you accountable?
Will you help me?