This would be the year that Sarah would have been in 2nd grade. April 23 marks 8 yrs since I delivered our stillborn baby girl. I can’t believe how much time has passed and how much life has been lived since that day.
I remember the ultrasound where we saw that she had stopped growing. That her heart was no longer beating. I remember the doctor giving us the news. I remember the waiting in Stones River Hospital. Waiting for labor to progress. Waiting for the pain to be over. Waiting for an answer.
I remember the feeling of being hit by a truck- the pain of mourning. I remember the tears. I remember feeling like I would never be able to move on. I remember all of the love, support, and encouragement from all of my family, friends, and coworkers. I remember feeling so alone in our crowed little apartment.
I remember her first birthday and the fear that I was the only one that would think of Sarah. I remember the fear that my pregnancy with Bubba (and later Dude) would end the same way Sarah’s did. I remember being afraid of how I would tell people.
8 years later all of that seems so small in comparison to God’s grace. In the last 8 years, we have been more than blessed. We have been loved, encouraged, and supported.
Sarah is a part of our family. When the boys draw pictures of all of us, they always include Sarah with angel wings. When people ask about our family, I think about how I explain Sarah. The boys freely tell about their sister in heaven- about their personal angel.
God has used this tragedy to shape and direct our lives. We know that every second is a blessing. The hope in meeting our baby in heaven is great. God is good and we are so lucky to have so much even in such a loss.