Monthly Archives: August 2012

first day jitters

Today was my 10th first day of school as a teacher.  Last night I posted on Facebook that I had a lot of anxiety about school starting.  My friends are wonderful and gave me a lot of encouraging words to sleep on.

I am pretty sure I had gotten myself worked up over MAP test scores.  Yesterday, during our staff meeting, we went over MAP scores for our building.  Every grade and every subject had awesome scores- all above the state averages for proficient and advanced scores.

That is except 8th grade math- the subject I teach.  (There are 7 sections of 8th grade pre-algebra and 2 sections of 8th grade algebra.  I teach 6 of the pre-algebra sections.)  These scores were lower than the state averages and were a drop from the prior years.  I took it personally.  I have poured over the data in the last 24 hours and tried to figure out why this happened and how I can improve.  I need to get over it and move on.  It put me into a funk going into my first day that is not worth it.

Then I woke up with a swollen and bruised eyelid.  Apparently I got into a fight in my sleep or something.  Not a great way to start the day.  (update- the swelling has gone down but the eye still hurts)

My classes are great.  My numbers are low and my kids seem really good.  We had a great time learning appropriate bathroom and hallway behaviors.  The kids are really buying into our new (to us) PBIS program.

This is going to be a great year!

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baby girl

In the last few weeks I have seven friends have babies.  Six of those babies were girls.  Tonight the Hubs showed me a picture of his boss’ baby girl with a super huge bow on her head.

It hit me hard.  I cried while I did dishes.  I am crazy.

We have to awesome, crazy, fun, exciting, wild little boys.  I love them.  I don’t want to imagine life without them.

But every once in a while I feel like I am missing out on something.  Sometimes I feel gypped because our little girl left us too soon.  There is a little void in my life.  I don’t know if it is for Sarah or if it is for another baby girl.

I have never been a girly girl.  I don’t like ruffles, lace, sequins, and/or sparkles.  I don’t do hair and make-up very well. When we kept my nieces for a week I couldn’t even put their hair in a decent ponytail.

I have always been okay with having ruff and tumble boys.  I thought that I have been okay with having only that.  But lately I am feeling down.

This is crazy!!  The Hubs and I are “done” having kids.  We have 9 more months of paying for child care.  We don’t ever have to buy diapers again.  We get to sleep all night long (usually).  The boys are beginning to become independent.  The baby phase is over and we are okay with that.

Or so I thought.

Lately I am having mixed emotions.  I don’t want to go through all the sucky things that come with having a newborn.  I definitely don’t want to go through the terrible twos, the trying threes, and the really bad fours ever again.

But I think I do want all of it again.  I am struggling with this.

My brain yells “ABSOLUTELY NOT! Remember the postpartum depression?  It cost so much and you are so poor.  It doesn’t work into your debt repayment snow ball. You are already exhausted and stretched thin with two boys!”

My heart keeps whispering “But babies snuggle so sweetly. They laugh and smile so sweetly.  Remember when you wanted six kids? Maybe you will get another boy and can have even more fun.  Or maybe you’ll get another girl and fill a void.

This is all so ridiculous.  I don’t think it is physically possible to have another baby (thank you screwed up reproductive organs).  The practical issues far out weigh the other thoughts.  Plus the Hubs is getting kind of old (just kidding… he is a 13 year old at heart).

Am I crazy?  Have you ever felt this way?

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Chocolate Friday?

So the boys and I are hanging out today and they are starting to get restless. I need to go take a few things to my classroom and was starting to get concerned that it would be chaos.

Nevermind I am not concerned- I know it will be chaotic. Have you read any of my other posts about Bubba and Dude. It is always chaos with these two.

Anyway I am not against bribery and use it at almost every possible venture.  I told them what we needed to do and then asked them if they could be good.

Bubba knows how I operate and asked in an ever so subtle way what was in it for them. I asked him to name is price. 
“Ice cream?” He asked.
“Yeah! Ice cream!” Dude second.
I thought they were going to suggest the pool and I was totally prepared to say yes. But ice cream was a much better idea. This is good for me… I am totally craving ice cream and now I don’t have to put on a swimsuit.
They started talking about what they want from Dairy Queen. The typical blizzard mix-ins were named.
Bubba then decided he wanted an ice cream sundae with chocolate syrup.
Dude kind of looked at him funny and then asked “Can I get a chocolate Friday then?”

I love these kids.

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summer clean out

School starts in about two weeks and I am trying to get a few things taken care of before we all go back to normal.  This week we are going through stuff to get rid of.  Our house is tiny and our boys are hoarders.  This is not a good combination so a few times a year I make them go through their toys and stuff and get rid of things.

We have gone through all of the boys clothes and it was relatively painless.  That is because I did it without their input on the majority of items.

Today we tackled toys and their closet.  I was stressful to say the least.  Bubba wanted to agonize over every single item.  Dude wanted to walked like Godzilla through the piles. He also wanted to keep every single thing.  (I am pretty sure he was being obnoxious just to make his brother mad.)

To help them let go of some things, I told them that anything they sold in a future garage sale they could keep the money.  Suddenly they were motivated.  We ended up making a bit of progress- we will have to work hard tomorrow in order to finish before the weekend. Both agreed that they wanted to buy a train table or Lego table.  I have no idea where we will put it (they suggested getting rid of the dresser and laundry basket in their room).

One thing they decided to sell is cracking me up.  Bubba has saved almost every art project, drawing, coloring page, craft, etc. for the last two years.  It kills me because there is not an artistic cell in my body but my son wants to be a famous artist (that is if baseball doesn’t work out).  Anyway, they have decided to do an art sale.  They figure that is where they are going to make most of their money since Bubba has so many “pieces” to sell.

Are you interested in the art of a 6 year old?  Let me know… I will make you a great deal.

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