Today would have been Sarah’s 9th birthday. I have spent a little bit of time this week thinking about what she would have been doing as a 9 year old…learning to write in cursive, how to multiply, how to play softball, and she probably would have started water skiing this summer.
I am a sad that I don’t get to experience those things with her but those feelings don’t overwhelm me anymore. Today, for Sarah’s birthday, I want to encourage friends that have lost children.
About 6 weeks after Sarah died, my grandma took me to lunch to see how I was doing. She shared her story of loss and was very encouraging to me. She told me to cry when I wanted. She told me to be happy without guilt. She also told me that I might cry everyday and then one day I would realize I hadn’t cried. And then I would cry because I felt guilty. She was right.
Grandma also told me that over time the tears would dry up and I would be okay. She was right again.
Grandma encouraged me to look for God in my life. I decided to not lose sight of God in the loss of Sarah. I have continually tried look for how Sarah has changed our lives for the better. She is the angel that watches over us. She is waiting for us to be reunited in heaven.
After 9 years, the tears and the hurt have subsided. I will always hold her close to my heart. I still ache when I hold infant baby girls. I mourn in a personal when friend loses a baby.
But I have survived.
And I promise, to my friends dealing with a loss, you will too.
One day, you will realize that you didn’t cry. One day it won’t hurt so bad. One day you will smile at the memories rather than ache with the loss. One day it might make sense.
Until that day, it is okay to cry. I love you and I will continue to pray for you.
Have you experienced the loss of a child? Tell me your story.